Gory Gorilla Tonsils

2 dozen Brussels sprouts
1/4 teaspoon salt
4 ounces American cheese, grated
2 tablespoons milk
10 to 12 iceberg lettuce leaves
1/4 teaspoon paprika

Wash the Brussels sprouts and remove any discolored leaves. Trim off the stem ends and cut an X into the bottom of each sprout to make sure your tonsils cook nice and tender. Place the sprouts in a pot containing about 2 inches of water and sprinkle with the salt. Cover the pot and cook over medium heat until boiling. After 8 to 10 minutes, carefully stab a few sprouts with a fork to see if they're tender. When you can easily pierce them through to their centers, remove the pot from the heat and carefully drain the sprouts in a colander.

Place the grated cheese in a small saucepan and add the milk. Simmer over low heat, stirring continuously with a wooden spoon until the cheese melts. Remove the saucepan from the heat as soon as the cheese melts. Arrange a bed of washed lettuce leaves on a platter. Place the gorilla tonsils - in pairs, of course - on the leaves. Drizzle the melted cheese (pus) over the tonsils. Sprinkle with paprika (blood specks) and serve.

Serves 6.